The Looney Ghost Busters
by Sir Thomas Roberts
Summary: Just what is suggests, a very comical parody of Ghost Busters. I dare not say any more, because I suck at summaries.- On hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

First off sorry the first version got taken off. After thinking about it i found that joke at the end a little tasteless, so I decided to remove it, but before I could post the new one, my internet shut down. Thankfully, it is now back on. Also I was still too lazy to add Bug's accent and Daffy's lisp. And without further internet problems, I now present to you (again)...

The Looney Ghost Busters

By Sir Thomas Roberts  
>WARNING: If you for any reason dislike the fourth-wall being shattered into countless pieces, then this isn't the fanfiction for you.<p>

It was a fairly peaceful day in Manhattan, or as peaceful as the enormous city could get. Birds were happily fluttering around the Public Library, enjoying the afternoon sun. Inside the library, the old librarian went about her work organizing books, and picking up ones that careless readers had left behind on the tables. Eventually, she wheeled her cart over to the basement stairs, grabbed an arm full of books, and descended into the lower levels of the library. Down there, she began searching for the proper spot for a Sherlock Holmes novel. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a group of books float off the shelf and place themselves on the on to the opposite shelf. "Did those books just… no, it's probably just these contacts acting up again," she thought. She then put the books she was carrying in their places and went over to the filing drawers to place the books' cards back. But suddenly the drawers shot open and began spewing the cards in every direction. Terrified, she ran toward the stairs but quickly became lost in the maze of shelves. Then, as soon as she rounded a corner, she saw something that made her shriek in absolute terror.

The scene then cuts to a title card that says The Ghost Busters. "When there's something strange-in your neighborhood-who you gona call- GHOST BUSTERS! If there's something weird-and it don't look good-d- who-o y-y-you g-g-g-goooooo, fritz werrr-clank-BOOM!" Daffy then walks onto the title screen, "That's just great! The sound system's broken!" he complained.

"Eh, What's up doc?" Bugs said as he walked on screen.

"The sound system broke down. Honestly, would it have killed the author to have invested in some descent sound equipment!"

"Just be glad he got it at all. This is literature, it ain't suppose to have sound to begin with. Plus, the author hardly gets anything on his pay check, and what he does get is spent on video games and gummy worms. But still, we did promise to have some sort of theme song."

"Wait a minute!" Daffy exclaimed, "I know how we can fix this!" He then ran off screen and came back dressed in rappers garb and started to sing, "When there's something strange- in your neighbor hood-who you gona call…" He then waited for the reading audience to yell ghost busters, but no one did. Daffy just stared angrily.

"Uh, I think I have a better idea," Bugs said. He then reached to the top of the screen and pulled down a curtain with a title card that read The Looney Ghost Busters, and the Looney Tunes theme song played.

When the theme song ended the curtain rolled up and Bugs was dressed in a one man band outfit. "Your despicable," Daffy bluntly said.

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><p>This is just a prologue to gain interest, kindly review and tell me what you think.<p> 


	2. Chapter 1: The Haunt is Afoot

Greetings once again Fanfiction community, and fret not, I have not fallen off the face of the Earth. I would have uploaded this sooner if wasn't for an essay I had to write for my U.S. History class, a PSAT test i had to take, and various other school work. but since I finally have all that out of the way, i now present to you The Looney Ghost Busters...

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><p>Chapter 1: The Haunt is A-rabbits-foot<p>

It was a busy Friday morning at Colombia University. Of the multitude of students, who were all studding various subjects, like anatomy and calculus, only three of them were dumb enough, I mean, bold enough to pursue a career in the study of supernatural forces and abilities. In fact, one of them could even be found in the middle of an experiment that he hopes will finally give the subject the recognition it deserves (or make him a few quick bucks).

"Alright," said a sleazy looking black duck from behind a desk, "I want you to look at this card, and tell me what you see." the black duck was testing a theory on the development of psychic abilities through negative reinforcement, and he had two test subjects wired up to a shock machine. One was a female duck the other was a short, and short tempered, cowboy. He was showing them both cards with shapes on them. The test was a simple matter of telling what the card was without looking at it.

"Uh lets see now," the cowboy said, "I think it's a square."

The duck looked at the card. It was a star. "Nice try, but wrong." the cowboy jumped from a sudden electrical shock, and swore under his breath. "Okay," the duck said to the girl duck, "What is it?" he held up a card with a circle on it.

"Hm, a star," she said.

"Correct," Daffy, whom I am getting tired of calling the duck and most of you probably already guessed who it is anyways, said.

Daffy then held up a card with a picture of the Mona Lisa on it, "Okay, Sam, what is on the card?"

"Grr, I don't know, the Mona Lisa."

"Wrong," Daffy shocked Sam again.

"I'm gettin' pretty dern sick of this ya feather-brained, bill-mouthed, galloot!" Sam swore as he yanked all the electrical wires of his arms.

"Look you're the one signed the payment contract, so shut up!"

Sam gritted his teeth and pulled out two single barrel shot guns. "Mother," Daffy squeaked, and right before Sam could fire Daffy ran out the door. Sam fallowed him in hot pursuit.

Daffy ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He constantly jumped and ducked to avoid Sam's rapid gun fire. He then turned the corner and ran into the nearest class room. By pure chance, Sam, suddenly burst into said classroom with his guns ready and started firing randomly at the people in the room, but missed them all. After noticing that Daffy wasn't there, he ran up to the chalk board and slid the section on rollers to the side to reveal the duck hiding flat against the board.

Daffy gave a nervous smile and ran through the window, leaving a hole in it that exact shape of his body. Sam ran through the window after him doing the same.

After running through the court yard for a little while Daffy spied his friend and college, Bugs Bunny, sitting under a tree eating a carrot. Seeking help, Daffy ran over to him. "Eh, what's up duck?" Bugs said to Daffy.

"He's after me; he trying to shoot me; help me; save me!" Daffy babbled.

Bugs sighed, "Get in here," he told Daffy while pointing to his book bag. Daffy jumped in, right before Sam arrived. Sam then went up to Bugs and asked, "Where'd that, no good, no account for, feather-brained, morroon, run off to!"

"He's in there," Bugs said, pointing to a dumpster. No sooner than when Sam jumped into the dumpster, a garbage truck come up to it and emptied the dumpster of its contents. The truck then drove off to the dump with its load of garbage and Sam.

"Is he gone?" Daffy whispered from the book bag.

"Yeah, he gone." Bugs replied.

"Thank goodness," Daffy said as he climbed out of the bag, "I thought he had me there for a minute."

"Yeah, maybe you should try studying something else," Bugs said, seeing that this is the seventh time that has happened, "It's not exactly legal shocking people for no good reason."

"But the false reports of psychic abilities do rake in a lot of cash," he then turns to the reader, "And besides, it's fun messing with people."

"Right," Bugs said, over hearing Daffy break the fourth wall, "Anyways, Wile just called. He was at the public library on fifth avenue when he found the librarian, in near panic, claiming to have seen the ghost of the former librarian in the basement. And if she's right, then this could be a major boost to our studies."

"Right, well, good luck with that," Daffy said as he began to walk off.

"And you know," Bugs said before the duck is out of ear shot, "If we manage to get a picture of this ghost, then it could be worth a lot of money."

"Did you say money?" Daffy said as he turned around. Bugs nodded. "Then what are we waiting for. Onward to the Library!" Daffy then ran off.

"He he," Bugs chuckles, "He'll believe anything you tell em,"

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><p>Half an hour later, Bugs and Daffy had arrived at the New York Public Library. The duo were walking up the stairs caring all the equipment they needed for a proper and scientific ghost investigation.<p>

"I still don't see what stopping at the grocery store to pick up a basket of carrots has to do with hunting ghosts." Daffy said.

"Well it was past lunch, can't hunt ghosts on an empty stomach," Bugs answered.

"Right, say, could you remind me again why we're doing this whole college thing again."

"Well, it's not like we went to college to begin with, I just wanted the experience. "

"So what, Warner Brothers already pays us boat loads of cold hard cash even without a college degree, and why did I agree to go to college anyway?"

"Because, the university is also paying us to attend as an endorsement to get other people to attend. Plus, everyone needs some type of career to fall back on, and we all know where the looney tunes show is headded."

"Good point, but what about Wile. he already has a College degree."

"He's actually teaching."

"Oh, right. I forgot."

By this time, Bugs and Daffy had made it inside the library. Near a table by the entrance to the basement, Wile E. Coyote was using a stethoscope on a nearby wall. When he leaned down to write something in a notebook, Daffy come up behind him and started making a whoo-ing sound in the stethoscope. Wile suddenly looked up with an excited look on his face and began listening closely to the stethoscope. Suddenly, Daffy screamed into the stethoscope and sent Wile through the roof, literally.

When he come back down he stared angrily at Daffy while tapping his foot. He then held up a sign that said 'That was uncalled for.' Daffy just snickered.

"Eh, say guys, shouldn't we be getting to the ghost investigation?" Bugs asked. Wile nodded. In a nearby chair, the librarian was sitting down. Bugs then walked up to her and started asking her the basic questions.

"Okay miss, have you ever had any previous encounters with any paranormal entities."

The librarian shook her head.

"No, no, you're asking all the wrong questions. Let me handle this," Daffy butted-in, "Have you ever been doing drugs, alcohol, meds, crack, whiskey, coca, gin rummy, poker, or have any motivation to pull a fast one on us for any reason what so ever, huh," The bewildered librarian just shook her head, without being able to fully understand Daffy's ramblings.

Wile then holds up a sign towards the reader that said 'Why on God's green earth they let him into college I'll never know.'

"Okay, team I think that we've gotten all we can out of her onward to the basement and the million dollar photo." he then ran into the basement.

Wile held up another sign that said 'You didn't?'

"Well how else was I suppose to get him to come along," Bugs said.

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><p>Down in the library's basement, Bugs, Daffy, and Wile were quietly sneaking through the rows of bookshelves. Wile was in the front with his ACME ghost detector, and behind him was Daffy and Bugs. All the while they were all making sure to be as quiet as possible so as to not alert the ghost to their presence.<p>

"Hey, Bugs," Daffy, whispered.

"Yeah, Daff," Bugs whispered back.

"Do you think it's safe to talk yet?" Daffy asked.

"What?"

"Do you think it's safe to talk yet?" Daffy asked a little louder.

"Speak up I can't hear you."

"DO YOU THINK IT'S SAFE TO TALK YET!" Daffy yelled. Wile, then hit him on the head with a sign that said 'Shhh'. Daffy muttered incoherently.

After sneaking around for some time, Wile's detector started to bleep. Noticing this they all got into a single file line and started to tip toe down the rows of shelves. Suddenly Daffy felt something squishy on his foot. When he looked down, he saw that his foot was covered in a thick green slime.

"Yuck, I though this stuff wasn't suppose to happen until we got to the scene inside the hotel," he muttered.

"Daffy that's ectoplasm. Try getting a sample would ya," Bugs said. He then reached into his pocket and took out a test tube. Daffy reluctantly took it and scraped some of the slime off of his foot and into the small glass tube. He winced in disgust.

When they reach the end of the row of shelves, Wile motioned them around the corner of one the isles jutting out from the center. When they turned the corner they saw a stack of books standing there, reaching up to the ceiling.

"Well ain't that just something," Bugs said.

"So what? Somebody got bored and started stacking books. What's so fascinating about that." Daffy said in response. Bugs just rolled his eyes.

Turning the next corner, Wile all of a sudden stopped and stared around the corner.

"What ya find Wile," Bugs asked. Wile motioned them to look around the corner and when they did, their jaws dropped. Floating right in front of a shelf reading a book was an old, green lady, with her hair tied up in a bun, who was obviously a ghost.

"This is it guys," Bugs whispered said.

"I'm gonna be rich!" Daffy yelled as he pulled out his camera and jumped around the corner.

"Daffy, no," Bugs said.

"Smile," he said, pointing the lens at the ghost lady. Suddenly, it turned around at them and turned into a screaming zombie.

For a couple seconds Bugs, Daffy, and Wile stood there with nervous smiles on their faces. Then they all screamed at the top of their lungs, ran up the basement stairs , and bolted out of the library.

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><p>Kindly review<p> 


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